Through our travels into the urban, suburban and rural parts of the country we hear a lot of sayings from people to justify their sometimes lavish expenses. In order to help us get over some of our woes this morning I thought I would compile a list of some of our favourite quotes which may fall in the category of the title. Enjoy. 

 

  • My air conditioning is so cold in summer I need to wear a jumper when I’m in the house.
  • My air conditioning is so warm in winter that I wear shorts and t-shirt inside my house.
  • My Italian coffee machine requires a service to get finer grounds so that I can get better crema.
  • My Home Cinema is not showing 4k as it should on the OLED screen because the installer used the incorrect HDMI cables.
  • My pool pump was using too much electricity so I had to purchase a variable speed one.
  • The pebblecrete pool surface had to be replaced with Italian mosaic pool tiles
  • $500 per month used to be enough for taxis.
  • My annual bonus has not increased for 5 years.
  • As part of the divorce settlement my spouse wants me to include $2,000 per week for dining out.
  • My tennis court sand is not coarse enough
  • My tennis court net is not of good quality
  • My $15,000 racing bike should have more carbon fibre parts.
  • My 6m x 6m double garage should be a little bigger
  • My $1M super fund just lost $20k in value
  • My $4M house is now worth $3.8M
  • The screen on the exercise bike in my home gym isn’t working
  • My laundry should be extended by 70 centimetres
  • My private school fees have become so expensive that we now have to lease our Range Rover Sport for four years instead of three before upgrading it.
  • My nanny is spoiling my kids.
  • The crocodile skin on my $40,000 Hermes handbag gets scuffed too easily.
  • I need extra wardrobe space to house my shoes and the aforementioned handbags.
  • Global warming has meant that snow isn’t guaranteed on the peaks of Zermatt at Christmas.
  • I can’t decide which wood fired pizza oven I need for my outdoor kitchen
  • The airline doesn’t give us the right noise cancelling headphones in business class
  • The tyres on my Mercedes wear out too quickly
  • My bluetooth garage door opener doesn’t work with Siri
  • My Alfa Romeo doesn’t have Apple Car Play
  • My 120 cm oven requires custom made trays
  • My wi-fi, door locks, doorbell and security cameras don’t work with Homekit.
  • My Telstra provided internet doesn’t work when it rains…wait that’s a third world problem.
  • My bank lent me $1m and now I’ve joined a class action because they shouldn’t have.